It crept between two lungs.

I am going into this blogpost unsure of what to say. We shall see what happens.

I have a few things on my mind. I feel a list might be necessary to help me sort this out;

1) Today I worked a near 12 hour shift decorating/glazing cookies. I am so tired-- and I am to return for work at 7:30 am tomorrow. I am not really complaining--the hours are needed, we had some really good laughs (as always) and instead of me closing tomorrow, I get off at 3 in the afternoon. This leaves time for evening plans (finally! a free Friday in the summer!). I think Matt and I are going shooting and going to grab a bite. Should be a good time, shooting doesn't happen too often.

2) I am going to North Carolina next week and I could not be more relieved to get the hell out of here. I long for no television, internet, and people I know. I need to be up in the mountains and just get away and spend time with Meredith and her family. It is so nice to get that change of pace and it is really good for me. There is so much down time where we are just hiking, sitting around reading, playing board games, or something to keep us all entertained and relaxed. Last year I hiked up a waterfall, had a parrot walk along my arm, hiked in the Smokey Mountains, and got to drive 90 back from Kentucky. Again, I am glad I worked hard this week to get better money to cover the week of work I will be missing. It is really important that I get away. I always feel like I need to get away. I'll share a picture from last year with my parrot encounter--obviously this photo is edited--for fun factor of course.

3) I have three albums in heavy rotation right now in my car. They include; Florence + The Machine (Lungs), The Yeah Yeah Yeahs (It's Blitz!), Nine Inch Nails (With Teeth). They all hit very very different emotions. All real ones. Good God, I hate emotions, but I guess since we have them we should listen to music to hit the right ones at the right time. I guess without emotions music wouldn't be anything either. I guess emotions are on the good side--for now.

4) Can I just say how cool it is that the weather channel plays Pink Floyd during the local on the 8's past 11pm?! Let me tell you, the weather channel might seem boring but they have spruced it up quite a bit with groovin music every 8 minutes. I know--I cannot really sell the weather channel, but I'm tuned in all the time, every day. Everyone keeps saying "you should really be a meteorologist." Okay, great. Don't you think I know that? People don't know how hard it is. I took a class, suffered through it (learned a lot), but ended up with a B. I should have gotten an A. I had to work SO hard for that B too. The thing that REALLY bothers me is the people that are doing it just because they have the skill level with mathematics and science. It's just so discouraging. All the things I want to do are nearly impossible. I'm a dreamer--it's the pisces in me.

5) My body is screaming at me for my ballet class Tuesday--my legs hate me right now. It was a good class though. I'm really enhancing my flexibility and getting more in tune with my body, posture, balance, position, and my french vocabulary each time I have a class. Unfortunately I will not be able to skate or do ballet for a week. Madness!

6) There are many, many times I think that I do not know if I will ever figure out what it is that I want. I am happy only in the temporary. I keep myself sidetracked only to return to some sort of unsettled unsure feeling. I fear that I will never be fully content. I just really don't know these days. It brings me back to a moment in Malta--a moment of realization and change; where I realized in a very moment that I can truly be happy on my own, without anyone else. Of course, we need human interaction--we need it, (like we need food, water, exercise, and sunlight). But in the end, we can only be reliant on ourselves because we carry on with ourselves day to day. We acquire new thoughts and ideas with each new sun. But if you have a strong sense of character and feel reliant in the self, then you cannot really go wrong--you can produce your own happiness. However I have moments where I feel very sure of my decisions, my character, and my feelings. I have really good feelings about things. Most of the time I go with my intuition. There are some things that simply cannot be ignored. Things I know that are meant to be pursued. And I pursue them. A dreamer AND a Do-er?! How lucky!

I guess that about sums it up. I am going to bed. I hope you all enjoyed the night! Have a great day tomorrow! Of course you will, it's FRIDAY!

-Tessabee

happiness hit her like a bullet in the head.

So. Today marked the day of something big. I cancelled my gym membership. Big deal? Well, it kind of is...

In high school I had an eating disorder--actually, I had both (anorexia and bulimia). It was pretty bad I guess you could say. During this period of time, I got a membership to a gym that was right up the street from my house. I utilized that gym--EVERY DAY. For years. Burning hundreds of calories that I hadn't even consumed before I allowed myself to leave the gym, feeling like I was a failure if I didn't burn atleast 1000 per vist, and not allowing myself to eat a lot if I didn't work out. The gym was the only way (in my head atleast) that I would be able to have a normal day--a day with out as much guilt. I would blow people off, cancel plans, and do anything just to ensure my time there.

In the winter/spring of this year--I got a little crazy. I started going twice a day any time I could. I would get up at 4:45 am to go workout before work, skating, school, and anything else that day. Although my eating disorder's habits were left behind in '06/'07 I still had the reprocussions of everything that goes along with it. Bad body image, low confidence in weight, taking hours to decide what would be okay for me to eat and what wouldn't, thinking how I could lose weight, etc. It never fully leaves you. Eventually, after 6 years of belonging to that gym--going nearly every day, I got completely burnt out. I started HATING the elliptical, treadmill, and anything else that looked like it belonged in a cardio room. I disdained having to get on a machine to ensure my allocation to eat and wipe away my guilt for anything I may have eaten the day before. This summer I have been gym free--finding any other way to get my exercise.

I have really realized that going to the gym is completely lame--unless it's for something like yoga, pilates, or weights. I hated walking into the gym looking around at all the people that were just there to compensate. The people that ate unhealthy and justified it because they go to the gym. Forget that. I've lost weight since not working out as much. My appetite is normal and I get so much more out of a long walk or something I can do where there is atleast a slight change of scenery. Given, I figure skate, take ballet, walk a lot, and find time for biking, but those are all things that bring me great pleasure. They don't make me feel like I am just doing it to make it okay for me to feel like I can eat. It's funny too, because no one LIKES going to the gym, they just like the result they get after or they like telling people they went. So why not enjoy your workout and still get the benefit?

You say no big deal that I know longer have a gym membership, but I applaud myself for letting go of something that held me so tight for years.

So- Goodbye gym, hello desirable workouts!

-Tessa

portions of foxes

One Sunny Sunday. How convenient.

This week was quite the week! I feel like I got a lot done and did quite a bit.

Before delving into my week I think I should tell you to check this band out

Florence + The Machine. Which song you ask? "Dog Days"!

Last week was a big jumble of a lot of time for skating (almost every day!), working decent hours, and just hangin out. First off, I am really glad I got a week where I was able to skate so much. It's definately a sport where a few days off could make a big difference. I hate going two days without skating--2 weeks kills me. I won't be able to skate very much these upcoming weeks so I took every chance I got this week.

I worked M/T/F/S. I am also thankful for this because they were great shifts and I need the money! I am going to North Carolina soon with Meredith and it is reassuring to know that after I spend a good amount of money there that I am going to come home looking forward to a nice paycheck. The drive to NC is the best. I absolutely love going from flat farmlands to a mountainous terrain. I would LOVE to live by mountains one day--either the mountains or the ocean/sea.

Saturday was really the main focus of the week. First off, I worked on Saturday which I do not normally do. It's required that each person has to work one Saturday a month. If you don't know already, I work at Cookies By Design, so it's a bakery setting. I decorate cookies as well as do other things, like bake, make frosting inserts, etc. On Saturdays normally we make bowls of frosting for inserts, we bake/decorate any orders that come in for same day pick up or Monday's orders. Since Matt knew I was working on this day he made reservations for a restaurant in the city (it was unknown at the time) for 9pm.

Since we were so slow at work, we got out almost immediately after close which was 4pm. Due to the sheer luck of recieving a lack of orders, this meant Matthew and I could go to Trump International Hotel in the City so we could grab a drink at REBAR. I ordered the Hibiscus Bliss and it was exactly that- bliss. It was delicious and so well mixed and needless to say it did the trick--I felt GREAT afterwards! I really enjoyed the setting and the people around us--I would definately go back. After asking where we were going for the 1,000th time, I found out we were going to Prosecco for dinner (it was kept a suprise). What a treat! It was delicious! HERE is the menu. For our appetizer we ordered BURRATA E PROSCIUTTO CON POMODORI SECCHI, and for my main course I ordered PETTO DI POLLO GRATINATO and Matthew got a RISOTTO that was featured as a special. It was very reasonably priced for the quality of the food and the service was great. Our server was actually the somalie so he was able to really sit and talk with us (we were his last table) and recommend some really great wines. After dinner we ended up walking back to the hotel and headed home. It was a really good night all in all. I would go to both destinations again for drinks and dinner.

Today turned out to be good as well. Danielle wanted to go to the mall, so her and I went. I ended up getting a few things. I got some accessories at Forever 21 and got some stuff from Victoria's Secret;

MMM I love both of these things and have for years. The lipgloss flavor is Piece of cake.

Let me tell you, anyone within a 10 ft radius will start wanting cake.

The perfume actually really really brings me back to my freshman year of college.

That's okay though, they were some good times.

I hope you all have had a great weekend! Do anything fun?

-Tessabee

steady as she goes....being awkward.

"A Totally Awkward Tuesday" Story

Inspired by blog: The Secret Life of Tova Darling.

So each Tuesday I look forward to reading one of Tova's embarrassing/awkward moments. It's always a little reassuring to read something funny about someone else and it feels good to let other people know that you are a bit of an oddball at times. Luckily, for me, I don't have to write a blog entry relaying an awkward moment to tell you that I'm an oddball because it's pretty apparent--buuttttt I cannot resist; I have been wanting to write an awkward moment for a while. So here goes!

I am a big fan of taking long walks. I think it is one of the best things you can do for your body and it is a great way to exercise and lose weight. Anywhooo- on this one particular day I was walking along a street I have walked along many, many times. I could see ahead in the distance on the sidewalk there was some sort of animal. From afar I couldn't tell if it was a small dog, bunny, cat, squirrel--who the hell knew, but it was about that size. As I got closer I realized it was a small dog. This dog was so small, it limping around, its toungue was flopping out the side of it's mouth (it was disgusting), it was panting, and it's fur looked all mangled and dirty. Of course, being the animal lover I am, I was so worried about this thing. Looking around I couldn't see whose house it could have been. It was just on the sidewalk between houses. I was tempted to call animal control. I was nervously pouring some water on the sidewalk to try and create some sort of puddle for this dog to take a sip from--it looked parched.

My worries continued on for about a minute more until I saw this woman walking around the corner with her dog. As she got closer I asked "Excuse me, do you know whose dog this is?...I mean, this poor little thing, I feel so bad, I mean..this CAN'T be someones dog..look at it..." and the woman gives me this look and goes "Umm...this is my dog, I was just walking this one and I knew this one wouldn't go far so I just let it outside...it just hasn't been to the groomer lately."

I could not even believe it. LATELY?! Good god, I just totally insulted this woman by inferring that the dog that was currently living in her home looked like it had been roaming the streets for a little over a month. I just got the hell out of there. I felt really bad, but REALLY. It concerned me that's how bad it was. Ay yay yay. I just remember thinking what she was going to do to fix that dog up--Atleast I hope she did something!

Got any embarrasing moments of your own?! :)

like a mesocyclone...

This is my 49th post. Neat!

Ahh. Productivity is what today was all about.

It is only 4pm, so there is still time for getting more done. Although I didn't go for a long walk today, I feel like I got a lot done and therefore exerting my body in other ways. I am happy with this. You know when you do a lot and you know some of it wasn't necessary or important compared to other things you need do, but it stilll makes you feel really great and accomplished? ha ha--today is kind of like that.

Let's review the list:

1) Went to Jewel and did a little G-shopping. I was on a mission to make a fabulous roast beef sandwich and the only way this was going to be accomplished was if I got some good bread, provolone cheese, and a tomato to make it all come together. I had the rest of what I needed at home and needless to say it was a good sandwich but didn't sit as good as I would have liked it to. Oh well, dinner will be better :)

2) I made pizza dough for tonight's dinner. I love homemade pizza- so much more satisfying! I think more people should start making their own. It's rising and I look forward to 6pm where I can start preparing it.

Make dough soon:

1) 1 & 1/2 teaspoon of Yeast

2) 2/3 cup of hot water. Mix with yeast in a seperate bowl, stir with fork to help dissolve yeast, and cover with saran wrap for 10 minutes.

3) In a seperate bowl, add 2 cups of flour and a pinch of sea salt.

4) Mix yeast and water with flour and add some honey. Stir together, should thicken rather quick, take it out on a floured surface and knead for 2-3 minutes.

5) Set in a large bowl and cover with a damp towel or saran wrap and put aside for about an hour or two.

6) Preheat oven, 400 degrees. Dough should have risen and you should be able to see a significant difference, knead again on a lightly floured surface and roll it out into desirable size for pizza. Add toppings, cook for 10-12 minutes & check.

3) I cleaned my car! Not as extensively as a few weeks ago, but I took Windex to Silver Susan and her windows sparkle and shine with delight. I also cleaned up the interior too. I will need to vaccum again soon, but for now she still looks good, so I'm happy about that.

4) Did some laundry. Enough said!

5) Finally found some new recipes I want to try. Whenever I go to TASTESPOTTING I always look at the desserts. I prefer baking over cooking any day (don't get me wrong, I like cooking, but I enjoy the baking process more). Plus, I feel like baking is more personal, it's a good gift versus a..rosemary chicken with potatoes. Ha ha.

Recipe 1: THESE LOOK DELICIOUS!

Recipe 2: These require me to make a purchase (popsicle molds) but they look delicious!

6) I cleaned my house (swept, dishes, clean counters/tables restocked napkins, changed towels, etc). My parents go to our summerhouse on weekends and I'm left in charge. I do take pride in keeping a clean space, despite what they'd like to think. I really get a kick out of cleaning--given I have to be in the mood. I like when they can come home to a clean house and not have to worry about anything. I also tidied up my room a little bit. I think going into a new week you should have a clean house, clean clothes, and a clean room--right?

So enough about what I did with my day. I anticipate my week. My work hours are a little different, but I think it will work out better. I work Monday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Instead of starting at noon on Thurs/Fri, I start at two, allowing me to get a lesson on Thursday and skate extra days this week. I am also looking forward to just going home after ballet on Tuesday.

I have more to anticipate than my week though. The month of August is really busy in a great way for me. Let's see: North Carolina with Meredith first week of August, Phish is August 11, my mom's birthday bash is Aug 14, and the Woodstock party is on Aug 15. Then I start classes on the 23rd or something. Gosh--classes. I'm going to keep enjoying summer while it's here. No need to think ahead so far.

Have a GREAT rest of your day and have a great night! I hope everyone did somethin fun with your weekend!

-Tessa

I'm getting pretty hungry...

4:29 pm. Looks like blog time!

An entry coming from a very exhausted being. My whole body is screaming how tired it is. Yesterday was ballet--hard. My legs are not letting me live this class down. However, I really enjoyed it overall. Afterwards was work; 2-9:15. Not bad. Matt came over around 10 to watch Back To The Future with me! I have been wanting to watch it for sometime now and I remember loving it so my recent order on Amazon came through and was totally worth it.

Today I woke up after a night of tossing and turning (due to this I was atleast able to catch the decent thunderstorm that rolled through here last night.) I went skating and felt like I put so much into the first 40 minutes that there was no way I could go on. I was already tired and sore and skating kind of took it out of me. Jumps were real good today. After skating I went to Butterfields! Nova Lox. I always get that and I love it everytime. Of course after lunch the workout maniac inside me decided it would be a great idea to take a walk. So I suffered through a 35 (lame) walk. Now I am really beat. I guess the extra exercise cannot hurt. I anticipate a nice pasta dinner tonight with mushrooms, spinach, white wine, etc. I'm helping my mom throw that together soon.

So lately I have been researching more and more into Astrology. I know this seems really lame. I'm not really into the whole horoscope thing or ideas like that, more into what sign you're born under and what it means for you. It just seems extremely accurate. What I was learning more about is being right on the "cusp" of a sign. I was born one day after Aries started (March 22, Aries starts March 21--vernal equinox as well). Since I am right on the brink, I possess most traits from both sides (Pisces-February 20-March 20 & Aries-March 21-April 20). This really explains a lot of the "push-pull" feeling I feel--wanting to go two ways with thoughts or ideas. I've also been looking into friends and their signs and what traits they possess and what not. It's really fascinating how spot on it is with everyone.

Again, I will dispense of my thoughts I have during my strolls;

1) I wonder how many people pay attention to the weather or the sky. I know, of course you pay attention to the weather because it effects so much (moods, plans!, etc.) But do you take note of how it evolves and changes so rapidly? How the clouds come together and take shape only to grow and float apart all so quick? It's beautiful. I always am looking up at the sky to see what is going on. I love watching systems rolls through and taking note of the weather and how it has changed through the day.

2) Does anyone else have the best ideas way too late? I guess hind sight IS 20/20

3) What sunshine can do for your mood! They say even small amounts of sun each day is really good for your overall mood/health. Take walks in the summer!

4) Since I do so much walking through all the neighborhoods that all flow together, I see a lot of homes over and over. It really allows me to see what a little effort in landscape can do for a home. I get the urge sometimes to ring on the doorbell just to tell people I love what they've done with the place. I get so many good ideas for what I'd want for a home and what I will do in landscaping.

Tonight holds an unplanned adventure! Tomorrow is work 12-? Hopefully it will not be toooo busy!

Talk to me people! :)

Love,

Tessabee

No one knew me.

Right now is the time to blog. Right now at 4:08 pm on a sunny Monday afternoon.

Settle in.

Song of the moment: . . . . listen.

Another blur of a weekend-

Friday- I had work, 12-whenever she decided to let me go home. This happened to be at 7:50 pm. Sometimes I feel like I'm never leaving ha ha. We have been unexpectedly busy these past few shifts. It's all good in retrospect. More business = more hours to be worked = bigger paychecks. Afterwards, Matthew and I headed to Steak N' Shake. Has anyone seen my healthy eating habits lying around!? I'm pretty sure they have run away! It's madness really. More of my meals include french fries these days, although there are fewer meals. Who knows how it all works out. Somehow between my long work hours of not eating, my excessive walking, ballet, and figure skating, it keeps it all in check. THANK GOODNESS.

Saturday- Who even knows. I woke up, took a walk, threw some money into the bank (STUPID BANK), made cookies that were nowhere near my best, and got ready to go to Eric's for the night. We made it home around 6:45am in the morning. Overall quite the night full of minimal activity. We caught up on our Weeds episodes, Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and watched Being John Malkovich. Talk about random. We had a good time though.

Sunday- The night before pretty much left me out of it (minimal-no sleep). However, Matthew and I did the whole Einstein's Bagels thing the next morning and they were FANTABULOUS. My god, they have the best bagels/butter ever. I am not a big butter person- but Einstein's has me hooked at the heart with a half buttered/half cream cheese everything bagel. Oh yes, Oh yes! Afterward, I took a long walk, got ready for the day, and then did nothing with it. I cat-napped and then woke up longing for Chipotle. AS USUAL. I'm telling you--it's all that cocaine mixed in with that guac everyone scarfs down :) I went with Danielle and we came back here and popped in some Ferris Bueller movie time! Good stuff and she had never seen it! HOW INSANE! It was enjoyed. I called it a night after she left.

Today I skated for an hour and fifteen and like usual headed over to Butterfields for lunch. Deliciousness. Afterward consisted of an hour long walk around the neighborhoods. The routes get boring. Long walks are good for my head--and my body. Here are some thoughts I've been harboring these past fewdays.

walking thoughts ;

1) I really, really hate your big stupid dogs that just sit outside waiting to bark at someone walking by. I'm sick of you telling me that your dogs "are just so sweet and wouldn't harm a fly." I don't believe you. I know I have a dog that barks at everyone, but he's actually pretty chill and won't jump on you when you walk by or make you worried because he's not very big. I think in the long run, I really like cats better. I love my dog though and will most likely get one of my own--some day. But I am definately starting with a cat. A white kitty with a brown spot.

2) I am interested in so many things, but when it comes to learning about it in a school/reading/textbook kind of sense, count me the hell out. I wish I had more motivation sometimes. I have all these great intentions of delving into different subjects, but most of the time the thought is only temporary and finds itself slipping between the cracks in my brain.

3) I saw Regina Spektor once and I really really liked her. She's coming to town again and even though I haven't heard any of her new album, I'd really like to see her again.

4) I have learned not to look forward to anything. I get excited the day before. I'm going to N. Carolina in two weeks, but haven't thought out ANY of the details. I know it will all work out and be very fun, but I just cant be bothered with the planning this early. Call me one of the biggest procrastinaters around. Again, I wish I had more motivation. I do--I swear, but only with some things that really don't matter in the long run.

5) 76% of the time, I have NO idea where I am going in life. EEK! But let me tell you--I have some GREAT ideas...

6) When i am walking and listening to music at the same time--I'm sure I look funny at times. I am either power walking like a mad woman or probably assuming the positions of dance I have in my head. I always think of skating/ballet routine or a scenario when I listen to any song so I'm sure my body naturally mimicks what is going on in my head.

7) But really--what is going on in my head?

Anywho; tonight brings good plans. I am hanging out with Meredith, a girl I met in meteorology class last semester. I was actually listening to the class recordings from that class today. Bittersweet- that's for sure. I am still so exhausted.

Have a wonderful night! Eat your vegetables and drink your water!

-TessaErin. (It goes--right?)

when your mind is driving you mad.

Hello!

Wednesday is almost over and we are heading into the end of the week.

It seems to happen so fast in the summer.

I cannot even keep track of the days anymore.

HEY, YOU. scope this out.

Tuesday: My ballet day. It went okay. I enjoyed it, but barre exercises seem to throw me off more than usual. I had work after and it went really well. I got out around 8:45 and luckily was able to get ready in time to hang out with Caitlyn, her boyfriend, and two friends. It turned out to be a really fun night and I'm glad I changed up the usual routine.

Today I went skating and I did a freestyle. It was really nice because there weren't too many people on it today and I was actually able to play some music in between routines. My spins felt really good and I had fun with it. Afterwards came Butterfields for lunch followed by a Target run. Of course. I did good today and didn't buy anything outrageous. I went home, relaxed, washed my hair, and waited for my mom to get home. We have this Woodstock party we are going to in the upcoming months and there is a hippie costume contest. We are trying to out-do eachother and the other day she happened to be in Goodwill? VERY un-characteristic of my mother (direct quote: "That place is so divo") ha ha. Anywho, she saw these two purses (purple tie dye/beaded) that would have been perfect for it. So when we went back today to get them, there were gone, but I scored some good finds and walked out happy. Thrifting is fabulous. I came back home and ended up going out with Matthew. We went for dinner (House of Emprorer) and rented Season 4 disc 2 of Weeds. How bullshit it is that only four episodes on one disk? Whatever. I'm on the last episode now. I thoroughly enjoy this show.

I am craving something cinnamon! Ha ha. Sorry--random! I have been noticing lately that I am starting to speed more and more. This is usually bad. At this point, I get pulled over doing something like..15 over, I get a warning, and tell myself that I have to do the limit. I become super super concious of my speed and driving. Then..I become a little more reckless week by week. I also was talking about my new driving CD in my previous post. This does not help at all! I am nervous! I love speeding, but I fear the ticket! What to do?!

Cookies tomorrow--work 12-8? We shall see. Hopefully early. I love a good Thursday night to do as I please! Have a wonderful night! Sleep tight!

-T

"..everything- all the time"

No complaints about this day at ALL.

Let's see here. Woke up, ate a light breakfast and headed to skating. Skated for an hour and overall it wasn't bad. Spins were pretty good (there will be evidence of that later on in the post) and jumps were pretty decent, I suppose. After that it was Butterfields for lunch. Nova Lox--LOVE it! Matt and I made a trip over to Yankee Candle to get my air fresheners. Big score. My car now smells like sun and sand and I have no clue what that really smells like, but I'm going with it and love it.

I went on an hour + long walk when I got home from lunch to enjoy this dandy weather. I showered up, ate a delicious dinner where the main star was Stuffed peppers! Oh yeah! I went over to Matthew's later on in the night for a little frisbee and gelato (vanilla & bacio). We also made an appearance at the hookah bar and saw some friends. I was so set on driving because Silver Susan is goin great! I love getting a full tank of gas, which I did today, & peeling out of the gas station just burnin off those extra few drops you pumped in. Yesterday I mentioned that my stereo light went out, but today it came back on--yes, just magically. I'm telling you, wash your car and clean it inside! It will love you back. I also have great music accompaning me on the voyages lately--"the driving CD" :) Thank you, Eric.

I came home around 10 and now am just hangin around and stumbling online. I need a downloading program for la musica ASAP. I remember having all this music at my fingertips. I always used to rant about this in previous posts. I knew I had it too good for too long- ha ha. Tomorrow is ballet. I am excited, but I know my body will just by aching all over the place for the following days. Oh well--that is good, I suppose; getting stronger. I also work at cookies tomorrow! YAY! Have a fabulous night!

hopefully this doesn't trip up and make it look choppy/slow.

--eh. you get the idea anyways ha ha.

Spin= Layback (pledge of alligence spin), back sitspin, back scratch, forward scratch.

Let the golden age begin...

Two posts in one day?! Outrageous!

So. I feel the other post wasn't really the only way I wanted to remember the day. Or the weekend for that matter. This weekend was nothing but a daze. It went by fast and seemed to be very very relaxed. No complaining on my end. Everything is fuzzy these days and that is why I love summer and the heat. Inhibitions are sure to go down. It's a great advantage to the weather. Today was extremely relaxing. I have been given fabulous, fabulous music that I've been enjoying all day. The weather was supurb; I took full advantage of that!

Danielle and I went on a long walk today through the preserve and through the neighborhoods. We ended up going back to her house afterwards to wash our cars. Let me tell you, I do not really like my car. I mean, I'm grateful, don't get me wrong. I just wish I were driving around something a little more my style; a Maserati or a Bentley or something. Oh Maserati. So anyways, I washed good ol' Silver Susan. I drive a silver Pontiac Grand Am. The other day my stereo lights went out entirely. So much for seeing what stations I'm listening to, track I'm on, or the time. Awesome! I cleaned my car SO well. I almost love it all over again. She is also running like new. I think she perked up after a good washin. I am DETERMINED to keep it spotless. It is my mission. I windex-ed, vaccumed, scrubbed, and made that car sparkle, damnit! I even got it an air freshner. Given, it smells awful, but nowhere carried the Yankee Candle fresheners. Those are the best!

I also made a homemade pizza today. It was faaaantastic. Fast forward a few hours and I saw Huey Lewis with Matthew! Oh hell yes I DID! I loved it. HELLO NAPERVILLE; wake up and dance! What a lame ass crowd. I'm pretty sure I was one of 20 people groovin' out of 20,000 people. Power of Love was where it was at, but he played the good ones. After we headed over to the hookah bar and paid my brother a visit (he owns the Domino's in the same strip mall) and we got all revved for Phish again in August. Cannot wait. I feel like I have been seeing a good amount of live music lately. Pretenders are here in September. TEMPTING!

Tomorrow will consist of skating, a long walk, a tasty dinner, and a good night. These are just expectations.

I was stumbling and came across these few links. I thought I'd share :) Good for if you're bored!

1) 100 greatest guitarists

2) sweet way to tell time

3) fun ideas for dates

4) songs to make you feel better

5) ooo! alt codes!

have a fabulous night! Get some sleep and drink lots of water! Europe! Look at you bright and shining at 7am!

-Tessabee

feel good.

ok. I have to rant.

Ladies and Gentlemen; I have become a consumer whore. I am just straight up admitting it. I mean, I guess not in the sense of actually buying. I am not driving myself into debt or anything. But I always want something new. When I say this, I generally want new clothes. I ALWAYS want a new outfit. A common girl problem, I suppose. I guess because when I was in high school I often found myself driving to the mall atleast three times a week for a new outfit for the school week. Check out that bad habit. However, I was working since I was 16 and had the money. Then I got crafty and started thrifthing. That's where it's at. Lately it is not the mall or Goodwill. Who is to blame? TARGET! Target has done it to me. They have me longing to get anything from storage to clothing, to sunglasses to handbags. STOP BEING SO APPEALING! I do not necessarily feel alone in this. I'm sure a lot of people feel the draw from Target. They have so much and it is really hard to leave empty handed. I really have nothing to feel ashamed of. I mean with that dollar section?! Even if they don't have the shirt you went there for in your size, you are AT LEAST going to walk out with a 3-D shark bowl or a bag of potpourri from those few cheap aisles.Wow. I guess all in one paragraph of writing I justified it. Ha ha. I am super great at just saying no when it comes to buying stuff. Most of the time I have to have it on my mind for a week before I go back and buy something. So I guess I am responsible with my money. After reviewing my latest Debit card statement, I laughed at my purchases. Mostly Trader Joes (6 times), Chipotle (5 times) , Starbucks, Jewel, Whole Foods, etc. That's okay though. I feel that is all well spent. Maybe I should watch Into The Wild again. That movie always makes me feel like I should disdain possessions and nice things. I cannot win in this push-pull decision making anymore.

Lately I've been feeling this odd push and pull from all sides of my personality. I am not sure I alone in this one either; I always feel like I have so many sides to me. Not personalities, persay. Just sides you show. Everything is so situational. I always say my mood depends on my outfit. I guess there has just been more changes in my life lately. I am just growing into a new stage of life and way of thinking and finding other ways to execute my actions and emotions. Who knows. I will just stop here. No more rambling. I am just coming to realize a lot.

I am seeing Huey Lewis Tonight! Oh yeah! Enjoy the sunny skies we got a day too late!

I feel better now. Thanks for reading my rants ;)

--

"...like we did all summer long"

Happy Fourth of July.

I am noting now I am the least patriotic person, but I cannot fail to add at least a little bit of red, white, and blue.

Dear Week,

Where have you gone?

This week seemed to fly by even though each day was pretty filled up with things to do. So..looking back;

Tuesday: I had ballet! I loved it again, but it for sure kicked my ass. I still have bruises on my knees from having to hold the splits for what seems like forever. It was a great class and my soreness is just now subsiding. After ballet I headed straight to work. I was anticipating to get out early like we have been the past few shifts I have been working. However, unusual amounts of orders came through and we were there until 11:15. In retrospect, it wasn't that bad. I needed the hours.

Wednesday: I went skating and it was my day off! I got a double lesson with this other girl I skate and have ballet with. That was fun. Its always a little more motivation when you have someone else there too. After my lesson I went to lunch with Matthew and after that I went home, got ready and picked up Julie. We just hung out and went to target and took a long walk. We ended up getting picked up by Matt later in the night to go for milkshakes at Steak n Shake and to see Ice Age 3. I have never seen the other ice ages..but I really liked this. It was cute.

Thursday: Work. 12-7. A Great shift! We found XRT on our radio! I could not be happier. One of the best stations ever. Not having music over a long shift is AWFUL. I cannot go that long without it. After, I got a beloved beef sandwich that I was craving ALL during work from Buona Beef. It was so good. I havent had one in awhile either. After that I hung out with Danielle which was a nice change of pace. I really have not been seeing her that much lately--kind of a bummer. I'm glad we were able to catch up. Plus, she is going to school at ISU in the fall. BOO. That's sad. After she left, I called it a night.

Friday (last night): Worked 12-6:25pm! This is a miracle people! Ha Ha. I made 25 bowls of frosting. I was expecting to go in and decorate, but I had to make inserts. It's where you get a mixer, gather all the frosting in the bowls nearly up to the top, add ingredients for color, mix it, and then roll it in saran wrap. From there, it is ready to be put into a pastry bag. It was pretty instense. Took me 5.5 hours and that was getting it done "pretty fast". I liked doing something different. I got to listen to my headphones and just chill out and have my only focus be on doing inserts. So no big. After work, Matt came over and we got Chipotle. This was amazing. My newest thing is eating a light breakfast and going to work and not eating for my whole shift (6+ hours) and then getting what my little heart desires. It always varies though. Note: this is not a good habit! After we ate, we went to Brandons for a little get together with the usual crowd. We had some good laughs. We headed out early and just came home to chill. A good day overall.

I will look forward to tonight where everything is still up in the air. I hate that but I guess I like it at the same time. Whatever. Seeing HUEY LEWIS & THE NEWS TOMORROW. BE JEALOUS!

--