No longer odd!..numerically speaking anyway.

Alas, I will no longer be odd, numerically speaking, as of Thursday around 3:20 pm. I will be Twenty Four. This is terrifying, yet mostly exhilarating because this past year of being 23 only got tolerable in December when Florence decided to amplify my life x 1000. Things got increasingly better then and I'd say they are only on their way to getting better. I feel that I'm on the brink of something good here. I feel pretty good about creating this rad little space I come home to each night. AH! Behold! My beloved space! And although it's back with my parents, it's something that is closer to everything I know and love. While it's good to be distanced from that for awhile, sometimes it's good to be reunited with it as well.

[there's a lot of Florence and Lana Del Rey going on here-more to come of that! Some drawings, some set lists...the bed is a huge upgrade and it's amazingly comfortable. My acoustic guitar that I pretend to play well and GREY WALLS! YES! This was a great room to move back into]

There are things about my living environment that need to scream my personality and my interests and without them I just feel rather odd. This has always been the case and I can't help but decking out my walls with people I find so extremely rad. I remember when I first moved back in my dad kept coming in and saying "Okay, that's enough" and that was only with the setlists and a few other pictures. There's going to be a whole 'lot more glossy pictures popping up on that wall with all the great magazines that have come out lately! and back to it...

Everyone around me has been super positive lately. I've been catchin' up with so many friends lately, which has been quite easy due to the fact that I'm so much closer to them then were I was living the past two years. Rachael made a comment the other day that went along the lines of  "I can tell, you look like you're going to burst at the seams, in a good way!" in response to "I want to do something, I feel really good about this year..." Anywho, liked that terminology she used and it kind of put it more into perspective for me. That's exactly how I feel. I saw Brooke today and I told her how I want to turn over a new leaf, do something good and what's good for me. She said "Dude, it's turned. Or it's like ::half-flipping palm:: right there. That is awesome. I have really rad people in my life right now!

Work has become a little bit interesting but presents different opportunities. I feel confident, mostly. If we're being honest that is. Like..perhaps I'm starting to come into place with who I am as a person? I feel good about what I have to offer in terms of personality. I am the most relieved that I've come to good terms with my body and how I feel perceive it and I sort of like it. I. Can. Dig. It. I think I've learned what works for me right now. Food and my intake of it always fluctuates with what's going on in my life, however, I find there to be an up slope when there is a fine combination of fruits and veggies and Portillo's. There was a lot of that when I was twenty-three and there will be more to come in the next. I have struck a nice balance in knowing how to eat that's just right for me. I am grateful for this.

[]
behold the Portillo's Chili dog with all the fix-ins!

There's more where this came from! I have to eat here once a week!

Plus, being the girl with body issues is kind of a drag, and that's practically every girl in existence...awesome! I feel like I have moments in my life though where I've felt like I've had it pretty together, but they seem like fleeting moments that really last longer than just moments, long enough to stick around and give me this false sense of accomplishment and hope. NOT TODAY! [see reference] I plan on having things go well this year. I feel more stable as well, which is a big part of it. Ah, stability, what a fine word. I'm finally coming around to being cool with being happy. I hate when numerous months go on where those days when you feel sad, you feel like you're never going to be happy again, and vice versa. It just blows, so it's nice to be moving a bit more past that. I hope my plans for my birthday pan out well. I try to always keep things pretty simple when it comes to these kind of things just so it makes it harder for things to fall through. I just want fantastic company and good food-both should be able to happen!

I finally got back to skating regularly again. I hated how I was letting that skill go down the drain and I have gone back and am in the process of fine tuning and regaining certain elements. It is SO GOOD to be back. I have this solid little skate crew that I used to pal around with a few years ago. It is great to see them again and it's always nice to have people you know sharing the ice with you. It makes it more fun and I always prefer someone is there, it tends to be much more motivating. Hopefully I can get over there consistently and more often. Amazing weather has hit Chicago extremely early which is making it super easy to snag walks or do some rollerbladin' before I start work midday. This has been so good for me. I love doing something outside and active before work. It just puts me in such a better mood and energized for the day, but let's be honest, this is no secret. When I say "amazing weather" I am not shitting you, this weather has been without a doubt some of the most insane I've seen. I know, I'm only 23 (FOR NOW!) but 85º+ before the end of March is downright bonkers in this neck of the woods. I find myself dwindling down on sunblock before Spring even starts. I will take it, but I have to assume we will pay for this somehow...

Just over a month until I see the fabulous Florence + The Machine take the stage in Milwaukee. I can hardly contain myself and my friend who I'm going with told me the plan of arriving bloody early and queue-ing asap. I'm semi-on board with this plan. I love Florence. I will wait all day. Is it 100% necessary..proobbbabbblly not, but is it VITAL to get FRONT ROW AT A G.A. SHOW?! YES. Therefore it all balances out and I will be waiting in that line for a good 10 hours. This seems rather insane, but yes, yes, yes, go with me. I am also rather revved about snagging my Radiohead ticket. This will be the first time I've seen this band and I've loved them so hard for years. I am especially excited for the group of people I am seeing with them. I can feel it in my bones that it will be one fantastic evening.

And without a doubt XRT has gotten me along this year with music and I've learned a lot through listening. Almost all of my favourite artists get picked up on the station, or I hear about them from XRT. I am so glad I get to see Florence again in April. This is something I am so over the moon excited for even if I have to travel to Milwaukee to do it. Good things lay ahead this year in terms of music and I'm just really excited!

Needless to say, the song of the year without a doubt is this gem:

recents:

I've been doing a lot of thrifting, quite a bit of rollerblading, some skating, and dabbling in some floral crown wearin'. All of these are reflective of that. It's almost like a matching game. almost.

Even though it's supposed to rain tomorrow, I want to get on a bike, grab a balloon bouquet and listen to 'I Might' by Wilco! That would be absolutely fantastic. Enjoy!

 

 +

 

+

 

= OH YEAH!

here's a sum-up of the best age/year- 22

I hope you all have a rad day and do something awesome! HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!

x x x x

twenty twelve. ah, it feels nice.

Oh, 2011, you were full of it, just full of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I can honestly say that I was one exuberant being when that clock hit midnight and 2011 was no more. Of course this was displayed by me crying my face off while 'Shake It Out' played perfectly along in the background. Some good things happened, but so few that I could count them on one hand. I feel like when I think back on this past year, it's like I'm trying to recall being washed away in a large wave that washed me away, cut me open, and poured its salty waters into my wounds. Yeah...like I said, it wasn't the best. I cannot exactly pinpoint it to one thing, except the fact that I anticipated the age of twenty three to be a complete drag. After such an uplifting year in 2010, I was so apprehensive to step into something new that hadn't had anything to prove. In 2010 I was golden, I was 22 and on top of the world. This past year was full of extreme highs and lows, being shuffled around with my job, contemplating what my body would look like hanging from the low ceilings at work, and just constant contemplation of what the real purpose of being here was, what was POSSIBLY going to make me WANT to live another year? This is where I think that maybe getting too into the political regime and being an informed person of society may have been to blame for this edge I had gained. DO PEOPLE EVEN SEE WHAT'S GOING ON?! I know it seems rather morbid, but just reeelaaxxxx. Ahh, alas. Some refuge...Unfortunately I had to wait until December to realize that everything was going to be just fine, fortunately, IT. WAS. TOTALLY. WORTH IT.

This past year had some gems, so I feel like I should point those out before you come over here and tattoo "Sad Sack" across my forehead; I sported some groovy outfits, I was 22 for three months of it [and then it all went to hell], I met some wonderful people, attended some rad weddings, got real "news-y", NY Fall Fashion week floored me this year, I saw Florence + The Machine TWO TIMES [1,2] as well as The Black Keys, Florence Welch said my name AND TOUCHED MY FLESH! Ceremonials dropped and became one of the best albums of my life, I actually went to a Halloween party and had a good costume, I put together a little bucket list, I consumed a lot of Portillo's, I SAW THE JELLIES!, and I became sort of a social networking whore. Yeah. There were other things scattered about, but if it weren't for past blog posts scattered in between moments of sanity, then I'm not sure how much recollection I would really have of the good.

Oh, you made the last leg of 2011 so, so, so good and worth it.

Me dressed as Rachel Maddow with an awesome older lady I met.

The nun/Maddow pairing picture was necessary!

and then some dancing happened...

 

a few outfits...

The food that got me through! Portillo's

The Jellies came to the Shedd Aquarium.

I mean, good things happened, no doubt, but it was come and go, lackadaisical happiness. I was just consumed with this unbearable sadness and contemplation that seemed to drive me in circles and get me absolutely nowhere. If there is one thing that drives me mad its that thing that everyone expects from you; you charting out your life's greatest plan, unveiling how you plan to make millions to support yourself. I know you are supposed to be doing this, having some grand idea of how you can fulfill your life as well as those around you. At the end of the day, I know that with age comes more "searching" for that security. I disdain this process although I know it's exceedingly important. I anticipate moving soon and getting out of this area that I've been living in for the past twenty two months. You'd think that number amount would make me happy, but it doesn't in the slightest. I am anticipating a 10 minute drive to work, being closer to friends and family, and just being in a better environment.

This New Years, my counterpart and I forewent our usual plans. We typically head up to Milwaukee to the Hotel Metro or drive 20 minutes in to Chicago and stay at the Hotel Monaco. We get tickets to the main show in the city that year, [last year, The Black Keys, the year before, Spoon] and then return back to our favourite rooms that we always book when we stay at those locations. This year it would have been fun, but it wasn't necessary or really feasible with us moving in week's time. So we found ourselves seated on the floor, sipping champagne, and watching some of our favourite episodes. It was the way to go.

AH HA! IT IS SNOWING! YAY. Little Flurries.

So all in all, I anticipate 2012 being more flashy and fun and I only say this because 2011 was like being dragged by a horse for 345 days (assuming that twenty days were tolerable). I don't necessarily have any resolutions that consist of being shared via blog or really to anyone. Resolutions are kind of like those little self goals/secrets you have that once you let someone behind it all, it doesn't really stay yours anymore. The idea and goal becomes much more impersonal and now becomes something you must fulfill because now it's expected of you. Therefore, let's just hope to keep it rockin'. Hopefully this year takes you on a journey and slaps you across the face hard. Even though I feel like my year was something that I could put on the 'things I disdain' list, I learned something. I became a stronger god damn person because of it. You better bet that I would have liked to take a horse tranq of a sleeping pill and slept through most of it, but I'm glad I didn't, because now I know there can only be better.

Cheers to you and yours in the New Year!

-Tessa

Documented. The week in photos & songs.

Let's start this entry off right;

Every time I hear this song, my mood changes. Normally, it makes me more contemplative.

I generally hold a song in high regard if it has the ability to change my mood, it's a huge reason why I hold Radiohead near and dear to my heart. I kind of get sad when I hear this song.

I feel that's the emotion it is trying to convey. It's remembering a time when things were just different.

Sometimes change is for the general good. Some things change that you accept and adapt to them without even realizing it, and then when you take the time to reflect on those changes you've inadvertently picked up and adapted to, it makes you sad, because things just move in a whole new way now.

It is because you cannot get that way of life back.

A little bit of the past week or so is documented here in photos;

This is a cutter I saw and had immediately had the urge to decorate it.

So I baked it, popped some frosting on it, put it on a stick and sold it.

I loved this cookie, as did my counterpart.

The worst part? The customer was not even enthused upon purchase. 

I decorate a lot of cookies on a stick that sell very well.

I love it when people pick it out--especially kids, and they are genuinely excited about it.

The same feeling I had while decorated was definitely not the same one the buyer had.

No Tolstoy action here. Therefore, not efficient or effective "art". Bummer.

Don't dare forget your teachers or nurses! It's appreciation week celebrating both.

I've decorated tons of apples and schoolhouses this week, along with nurse bears & 'Thank You' messages.

 .    .    .

Let's not forget Frank

Our favourite custom orderer.

Not only are this man's request crazy, but they've become quite fun for me to conquer.

He's come up with yet another crazy design, and he is fond of celebrating only half birthdays.

I've done some really crazy things, this is almost normal compared to some of the others.

BRING IT ON, FRANK!

I can always dig a challenge;

The request was:

An upside down pterodactyl flying over two stick people holding signs.

One to say 7 and the other to say 1/2. Write Hannah upside down.

M&M cookie cake. Use red & green colors.

This is essentially what I do.

I never thought that I would be able to lay down frosting on these cookies like I can now.

I remember going in to apply and thinking "yeah...I don't think I can do this."

I've really developed myself in this line of work. My eye for things is different now.

I am thankful for many things I've learned and experienced here.

But let's be real. After 10 hours with minimal food, I go a little crazy.

I was so amped when I changed our dinner menu from porkchops/rice/salad/rolls to PORTILLO'S!

It was a simple text headed for my counterpart that entailed the sole question: "Portillo's?"

The response? "oooooo Portillo's"

Done & Done.

"I'll take a beef, dipped, hot peppers, two large fries, two plain hot dogs, and a medium root beer!"

I place my order like it's a military order.

I don't think I could have said Portillo's anymore in that sum up. NICE.

Oh tiffany shoes, I love you so.

I love this sock/shoe combo, one of my particular favourites.

I actually scored a pair in a similar style but they are plaid.

Obvious choice.

What an exciting day for Toby!

I scooped up some birdseed at the store the other day and got a window feeder.

I also laid down some seed in a pile by the window on the other side.

I love watching birds/animals and I love watching my cat get all sly while doing the same.

This little guy was at our window while his squirrel counterpart was at the other window.

Nothing could scare these guys away. They stuffed themselves for sure.

.    .    .

Here we have some Brett Dennen

This song has been making me move all week long.

When I say "move" I mean that it's making me full on rock out.

In my car, in the shoppe (don't think I didn't run out in the lobby & dance when customers were there),

in my kitchen this morning, etc, etc, etc.

This song takes me off guard, I don't usually like music like this, not often anyways.

Way to go, Mr. Dennen!

Hopefully it makes you get out of your chair!

weird fishes.

weird fishes/arpeggi. absolutely beautiful.

Random thought: It has always amused me that when one eats something too spicy, instead of grabbing water to easy the spice, milk would be the better bet. Ick, I wouldn't enjoy the combination and probably opt for the water anyways.

Today was pretty okay. I got up a tad earlier(7:57) than usual (8:33)--which by the way shocks me, I used to be up at 4:45am no problem and hit the gym. Now I have to sleep in atleast till 7:45 to be functioning right. C'est la vie. I went over to Neuqua to give my first talk around 9:30. I wish we were not in the LMC classroom. It totally threw me off. Normally we are in a big forum room and everything is better in there; lighting, the mood, and the setting. It's a great presentation room. Today the room made everyone uneasy it seemed. Presentations went okay. I got some good response/questions from the kids. I enjoy that. I gave four presentations total. Normally I give two or three, but I enjoyed it and didn't mind the additional class. I always know what I really want to focus on by the third time I present. I always make my rounds to see my old teachers/people I know after I present. I bopped in to see Mrs. Harner (Meredith's mom) and Schutz (Mrs. Schutzenhofer). I am so glad I did. I really like her and enjoy talking to her whenever I bop in after my talks. Hopefully we'll grab lunch soon--that would be neat. I came home and took a long walk while conversing with Gina via telephone. Good talk and walk for sure. Portillo's beef sandwiches and frenchy fries for dinner! Yum! What a treat. We hardly ever eat things like that in the house so it's fun when we do. It was a perfect day to do it with the rain.

After dinner I had to make my way over to Trader Joes to pick up some yogurt, fruit, and other tidbits (including chocolate covered bing cherries and black licorice scotty dogs!). But the best buy of the night were my hydrangeas! I love them and have declared them my new favourite flowers. They are a light blue/cream color. They look lovely in my room. Then I took another walk. Like I said, I love instability, so I love to be outside when it's not raining, but favourable for a tornado. How exciting!

Tomorrow is day dos of the new job. I will be fully prepared with a big meal before I skedattle off to work. Starve I will not! ha ha. Hopefully I will just be filing in the cookies like the other day, I'd like to really get that down before moving on. We shall see! The girls I work with are super talented. They are so efficient. I too, will progress and become that good, it just takes time. I'm a perfectionist with these damn cookies though. I always take a lot of time to make sure what others receive looks perfect (scarves I make, baked goods, meals, etc). That's a good thing. YAY! Skating tomororw. I went on Monday, but I can't wait to go again. I just need to regain my composure. No lesson tomorrow. Takes pressure off. I anticipate what tomorrow may bring.

OOOO! HEAVY RAIN! HOW EXCITING! :) :) huge squall lines moving all across the midwest like a belt. The radar is going crazy with red blobs (supercells, a few). One supercell produced 13 tornadoes! I know the storm has weakened a bit since it hit Illinois, but I'm not sure if it has produced any nadoes on this side of the border. There were some gnarly tornadoes earlier in OK and Missouri. I look forward to see what they will rank them. Based on damage I saw briefly on weather channel I'd say EF-2 or EF-3. Probably the latter. But then again, I don't really know anything when it comes to weather. ha ha.

this is beautiful people!

I have to admit though, being in fear of your property all summer is hardly fun. Again, I do not know why people choose to live in "tornado alley". Oh well. To each their own.

Currently, I'm a fan of:

1) This hilarious clip Matthew sent me today. You cannot just watch it once. 

2) Blogging!

3) This is fun for awhile! It will get you groovin.

4) Sudoku. Just breaking that in...

5) Wanting to make this recipe!

6) I LOVE this song. (press play on the top right)

I must be off to bed now. Muy tired. The slumber shall be supurb. I can actually listen to real thunderstorms instead of listening to recorded ones on my ipod. ha ha.

Europe, start steeping your morning tea,

America, time to hit the hay! Get your beauty sleep and drink a lot of water tomorrow!

-Tessaroobop.