who needs a title!

So...it's been awhile.

I'm sorry, that was the most I could come up with for my intro. A lot has gone on, while at the same time it feels as if nothing has gone on. I'm back at my parents house which is an adjustment. Which is odd, because I was only away from living within this establishment for almost two years time, which is not that significant. It's also weird to think of yourself as needing to adjust into a house in which you grew up in, but the things you grow accustomed to doing outside of your parents roof is hard to adjust out of once you get back living there. Nothing bad, per say, but just small habits you found yourself doing that may not have gone over so hot while rooming with your rents.

Although, I have to say that 2012 is going rather well. I seem to have melted into a stable environment and I can't say anything bad about that. I find myself riding along rather complacently down the old streets and it almost feels like I never left. So this whole jumble of "re-adjustment" and "feeling right at home" are merging, but the end result isn't so bad.

I've created my room to my hearts content and find myself happily in one of the largest bedrooms of the household. My counterpart has come over and "hooked" up my room with all the proper electronics I require (I know, I hate myself for it too) and now I feel pretty good in my own little space. I now find my time spent much differently. I've been a crocheting fool as well as spending time delving into my old tunes on my iPod I found while packing up the other house. My little nook is rather eclectic and I wouldn't have it any other way.

My friend mentioned that this whole 'Parents for roommates' situation is kind of like a re-set button on me figuring out my life. Mostly because I sort of feel like I'm in high school again without all the silly rules. My parents are doing what they can to make the adjustment easy...or something. It's the biggest drag in the world trying to conjure up a plan for yourself. Okay, I guess it's not "the biggest drag" but sometimes it seems pretty damn awful. There are a billion things I want to do. Settling on a few routes seems horrid. I want to perform or promote the hell out of something I believe it. Most importantly, I need to C R E A T E. It is vital to my existence. I need to keep getting inspired to the bone. Needless to say, I am enjoying being 10 minutes away from friends and a glorious 15 minute drive away from work. That gives me adequate time to sing about four Florence songs, or maybe just the same one four times over?

Here are some pictures to sum up my life that has occurred over the past few weeks:

Yep. I look like a Brooks Brothers wife.

I have dyed my hair red. It was time for a change.

If I'm making adjustments, it's likely my hair is going to have to do the same thing.

I actually really like it, yet was terrified because red is the only colour I have not done myself.

I am no stranger to box dye and typically have fabulous luck with it, but I wasn't sure how this would go.

Needless to say, I hope I will stay red for awhile, the best part is that I still feel like myself.

When I've had black/brunette hair in the past... I just feel odd.

I also feel like this hair colour requires a whole different look. Everything needs a collar.

I got a custom order to do a voodoo doll on a cookie.

I was so amped because I love doing weird shit like this on cookies!

Recent cookies I did, cupcake cookies. Gets me every time.

I took a sushi class at Sur La Table with one of my best friends, Meredith.

Her mom had gotten her the class for Christmas and had paid for a friend to take the class.

We ended up eating a making a ton more than I anticipated.

The rolls we made were: California, Spicy Tuna, Rainbow (shown above), and a handroll using Eel which is featured below. Everything was absolutely delicious.

 

I just made this hat the other day.

Crocheting has been a big part of my life lately, especially because I found a goldmine of my old yarn within my parents house. It's rather exhilarating.

In the past few weeks I've gone ahead and decided to open up a little Etsy shoppe

www.etsy.com/shop/tessacrocheted

Seriously. A crocheting fool is who I be!!

 

Let's just say I was way into this outfit in recent days.

I literally think everything in this outfit is thirfted minus the boots and socks.

I love the sweater, but the skirt is the real gem. I thrifted it brand new for $12 and it was $150.00 initially.

I scored this Pendleton coat in the Portland Goodwill.

When I tried it on, about 5 people came up to me and told me I must purchase it.

So I paid $50 for the originally marked $300 brand new coat and walked out revved.

This was when I initially got it and couldn't even wait to be pictured downtown wearing it...

I know. whataloser.

Sometimes I feel like my pictures sum it up best versus me trying to come up with words to describe the past month. Hopefully I can keep up with this sucker. I hope you guys have been keeping it as real!

twenty twelve. ah, it feels nice.

Oh, 2011, you were full of it, just full of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I can honestly say that I was one exuberant being when that clock hit midnight and 2011 was no more. Of course this was displayed by me crying my face off while 'Shake It Out' played perfectly along in the background. Some good things happened, but so few that I could count them on one hand. I feel like when I think back on this past year, it's like I'm trying to recall being washed away in a large wave that washed me away, cut me open, and poured its salty waters into my wounds. Yeah...like I said, it wasn't the best. I cannot exactly pinpoint it to one thing, except the fact that I anticipated the age of twenty three to be a complete drag. After such an uplifting year in 2010, I was so apprehensive to step into something new that hadn't had anything to prove. In 2010 I was golden, I was 22 and on top of the world. This past year was full of extreme highs and lows, being shuffled around with my job, contemplating what my body would look like hanging from the low ceilings at work, and just constant contemplation of what the real purpose of being here was, what was POSSIBLY going to make me WANT to live another year? This is where I think that maybe getting too into the political regime and being an informed person of society may have been to blame for this edge I had gained. DO PEOPLE EVEN SEE WHAT'S GOING ON?! I know it seems rather morbid, but just reeelaaxxxx. Ahh, alas. Some refuge...Unfortunately I had to wait until December to realize that everything was going to be just fine, fortunately, IT. WAS. TOTALLY. WORTH IT.

This past year had some gems, so I feel like I should point those out before you come over here and tattoo "Sad Sack" across my forehead; I sported some groovy outfits, I was 22 for three months of it [and then it all went to hell], I met some wonderful people, attended some rad weddings, got real "news-y", NY Fall Fashion week floored me this year, I saw Florence + The Machine TWO TIMES [1,2] as well as The Black Keys, Florence Welch said my name AND TOUCHED MY FLESH! Ceremonials dropped and became one of the best albums of my life, I actually went to a Halloween party and had a good costume, I put together a little bucket list, I consumed a lot of Portillo's, I SAW THE JELLIES!, and I became sort of a social networking whore. Yeah. There were other things scattered about, but if it weren't for past blog posts scattered in between moments of sanity, then I'm not sure how much recollection I would really have of the good.

Oh, you made the last leg of 2011 so, so, so good and worth it.

Me dressed as Rachel Maddow with an awesome older lady I met.

The nun/Maddow pairing picture was necessary!

and then some dancing happened...

 

a few outfits...

The food that got me through! Portillo's

The Jellies came to the Shedd Aquarium.

I mean, good things happened, no doubt, but it was come and go, lackadaisical happiness. I was just consumed with this unbearable sadness and contemplation that seemed to drive me in circles and get me absolutely nowhere. If there is one thing that drives me mad its that thing that everyone expects from you; you charting out your life's greatest plan, unveiling how you plan to make millions to support yourself. I know you are supposed to be doing this, having some grand idea of how you can fulfill your life as well as those around you. At the end of the day, I know that with age comes more "searching" for that security. I disdain this process although I know it's exceedingly important. I anticipate moving soon and getting out of this area that I've been living in for the past twenty two months. You'd think that number amount would make me happy, but it doesn't in the slightest. I am anticipating a 10 minute drive to work, being closer to friends and family, and just being in a better environment.

This New Years, my counterpart and I forewent our usual plans. We typically head up to Milwaukee to the Hotel Metro or drive 20 minutes in to Chicago and stay at the Hotel Monaco. We get tickets to the main show in the city that year, [last year, The Black Keys, the year before, Spoon] and then return back to our favourite rooms that we always book when we stay at those locations. This year it would have been fun, but it wasn't necessary or really feasible with us moving in week's time. So we found ourselves seated on the floor, sipping champagne, and watching some of our favourite episodes. It was the way to go.

AH HA! IT IS SNOWING! YAY. Little Flurries.

So all in all, I anticipate 2012 being more flashy and fun and I only say this because 2011 was like being dragged by a horse for 345 days (assuming that twenty days were tolerable). I don't necessarily have any resolutions that consist of being shared via blog or really to anyone. Resolutions are kind of like those little self goals/secrets you have that once you let someone behind it all, it doesn't really stay yours anymore. The idea and goal becomes much more impersonal and now becomes something you must fulfill because now it's expected of you. Therefore, let's just hope to keep it rockin'. Hopefully this year takes you on a journey and slaps you across the face hard. Even though I feel like my year was something that I could put on the 'things I disdain' list, I learned something. I became a stronger god damn person because of it. You better bet that I would have liked to take a horse tranq of a sleeping pill and slept through most of it, but I'm glad I didn't, because now I know there can only be better.

Cheers to you and yours in the New Year!

-Tessa

Florence + The Machine: The Chicago Theatre

Tonight was a game changer. A huge game changer. If I've ever started any entry with "tonight has been a life-changing moment", erase that from your memory, and let's start fresh here. I'm pretty sure greatness happened on the night of December Fourth. We can thank a marvelous team of people; FLORENCE + THE MACHINE, Laura Marling, LIN BREHMER, my mother, Brooke, WXRT, The Chicago Theatre, Greek Islands, and State & Lake. However, this is the whole. Let's focus in.

...and by "focus in" I mean let's go back a week when I first sparked the idea of sending Miss Florence Welch and her fabulous band a cookie bouquet. After all, we had just expanded our delivery zone to Chicago after merging shoppes and I KNEW I had to do something to show my appreciation in one of the best ways I knew how. I wasn't sure if I could make this happen. Sending edibles is such a risk these days, which is unfortunate when there is no harm in them. I didn't care, I just wanted her to admire the hell out of them. Would she even get them? I just imagined coat check workers eating them. So I conjured up some ideas. I knew these had to be ultra personal and really meaningful. It was so much more of a challenge then I thought because for the most part it was all stuff I had never decorated before. I loved that and just the thought of her even catching a glimpse of them made it that much more enjoyable to do. I am so lucky I had the opportunity to do this. Here is how they turned out;

"Shake It Out"

This is obviously a huge song off the album and it is one of the ones that holds the most meaning.

This show was something I felt that would help me let go of a lot,

hence the phrase I chose to put on the cookie.

This song just has such a catharsis effect on my body.

The sky is glazed to show that "It's always darkest before the dawn"

Yes, the girl is supposed to be me...shaking it out.

My favourite one, to show her "Ceremonials"

I was the most excited when I came up with this idea.

I glazed the sky "pink and gold and glittering"

I knew that I had to do something to represent "Only If For A Night"

(which I KNEW would be the perfect opening song for this tour-YES!)

"...My own secret ceremonials before the service began

In the graveyard, doing handstands"

I hope this was her favourite too.

'Cosmic Love'-obviously.

I had to do something to represent this song.

It means so much to me & it was the song I lost it to last time I saw her-yeah, big time tears in Milwaukee for this chick. Anywho, I would have LOVED to have decorated her sitting on the moon like in her promo, but let's be honest, I have another year of decorating in me for that, but seriously, things like that are in my grasp. MAYBE NEXT TOUR!

Wow. The Game Changer cookie.

You will find out later why this was indeed the GC cookie.

I thought this would be a great little touch on the name cookie for her to represent 'Spectrum'

"Say my name, and every colour illuminates, we are shining..."

This is my favourite song, on par with 'Shake It Out'

It was vital I included this song with her name.

The bouquet in full.

I had to include/single out Tom and Isabella because they are such a vital sound. I tried to snag some pictures off the screen when they played Saturday Night Live and recreate his harp. For Isabella, I wanted to do a piano/keyboard mix. I know her birthday is on Halloween and wanted to include something a little personal for her as well. I wish I had more time with these. I could have spent ALL DAY making them more intricate.  I was in love with the 'New Jack Thanksgiving' sketch that was on Saturday Night Live and had to include something humorous in that bouquet to make her laugh. Flo Diggity Flo Doubt was her character name in the sketch. Check it out HERE.

So I decorated them, had them delivered to The Chicago Theatre on Saturday, hoping that Straight No Chaser had no intentions of scarfing them down, and just hoped for the best.

When Sunday rolled around I could not have been more excited.

This was like the prom all over again, kids, but WAY WAY better because I was actually excited for this.

pre-show snapshot.

I caught a good dinner with my mom at Greek Islands West and headed out to The Chicago Theatre. We had plenty of time to spare, so we had a couple of drinks and met up with my friend Brooke next door at State & Lake within The Wit hotel. The Tanqueray + tonic's had me feeling perfect before we headed in around 7:15. My mom (who I turned into an avid Flo fan, that's right) and I had row 13, two seats in from the aisle. Brooke was on the main floor, but separate from us. Just before we had sat down, we had asked a house manager to find out if Florence had received my bouquet. He told me to meet him back after Laura Marling and he would find out and let me know. This was invigorating. Now I was going to actually be able to find out if she got it and put it to rest.

I was revved when Lin Brehmer appeared on stage to introduce Laura Marling.

Yes, I was standing up. Screaming.

WXRT is a big deal, people.

Laura came on around 7:45 and played an adorable 8 song set, I believe. She was so cute and I'm glad that I got to hear her. She has a great voice, reminiscent of Joni Mitchell/young Chrissie Hynde.

So after Laura Marling had finished her set, I had headed back out and I ran into the House Manager. He informed me that Florence did indeed get my bouquet. Cue to me bursting into tears and unable to hold my composure. She got it. That was all that mattered. I could not be happier. I just hope she loved it. So we all regrouped to go out into grab a quick cigarette in between my crying fits.

We took our seats and the curtains parted and Lin Brehmer appeared once again to introduce Florence.

This was like the British Invasion all over again.

I loved the backdrop and the set for her show, it was beautiful.

My mom and I had debated ALL DAY over what song she was going to open with.

My mom was convinced it would be "Howl"

"BUT MA! SHE OPENED WITH HOWL HER LAST TOUR!"

I said that opening with "Only If For A Night" would be perfect because it sets off and explains Ceremonials.

When she did, I could not believe it! She played a great line-up, really high energy and rather mind blowing.

*If you see Florence + The Machine and at some moment "Mind Blowing" doesn't come into your head to describe what you are hearing or seeing, see a doctor immediately!*

I was a little confined in my row, so I was sure to make my way into the aisle because dancing to Florence is extremely vital. I was shocked by the number of people SITTING DOWN during her performance, but I was almost grateful for it because it gave me such a marvelous view.

This was during 'Cosmic Love', which I DID NOT record but is absolutely amazing.

THIS was when I was like "Excuse me girls, I need to get into the aisle for this one!"

It was so important it did. Now that I hear it again, I cannot believe I lived it. It was a cloud 9 experience.

I'm sorry, more like a cloud 9,000 experience.

I was so excited that we got to hear "All This & Heaven Too" live for the first time. T'was perfect.

I hope Isabella saw me give her the thumbs up afterward!

I am so glad because I saw Florence + The Machine the last show of her tour in the states and this (I believe) was the first show of this tour. I cannot complain with how that worked out.

I continued aisle dancing and she had made an announcement that she had gone through all of the gifts that she had received from the past Chicago shows, and how they had kept them and had just come across them. I thought this was my acknowledgement and thought that was great she kept all of her gifts. I was just wondering if my card was among that pile.

So during the course of the show I had sort of made good with the people around me and had met this awesome Florence fan who was quite the fellow. He had wished me "Happy Florence Day" when we first started chatting. I knew he was a 1/32 of a soulmate. During the course of the show he had ran down to the front of the stage. He had a flower that he has successfully passed off to Flo who then whipped it around as if conducting spells as she sang. I had gotten there just seconds before she had come and gone. I had ran back to my mom to tell her I was up front enjoying the amazing-ness that was inches away from the stage and then told her how I would be heading back to the stage front. I could not believe it. Here I was again, front row for Flo. I thought I had missed my chance to touch her flesh and was a tad disappointed, but knew I should be happy I was that close.

So at this point, the concert is nearing its end and she still had not played 'Spectrum'

There was a break and all of a sudden she started talking about a cookie basket she had received!

She had asked someone to fetch her the basket I had sent her.

Here she was, the amazing Miss Florence Welch, holding the cookie bouquet I made.

I picked out that basket, tissued it, designed it, sent it...I could just die.

AN ENORMOUS THANK YOU TO RACHAEL WHO MADE THIS PHOTO HAPPEN!

I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!

I was in shock, but was smart enough to put my 5'2 little self on a chair [I'm not on a chariot either! ;)]

She began explaining what some of them were because of the personal touch on them. She picked up the one with her name on it, her star, and held it up and explained how it said her name on it, so we knew what song was coming next. Florence then put the bouquet on the drum set stand as if it were for display. She asked who did it and I raised my hand and said "ME! ME! ME!" which then led her to look at me and say "You did this?"

I'm sorry, did I start LEVITATING HERE?!

"YES!"

She asked me my name, and "Tessa" came from my mouth, SANS TEARS! I was not crying like an infant!

I believe my named escaped her lips in acknowledgement.

She grabbed my hand. MY HAND. AND THEN...

She pulled me in for a hug. PULLED ME IN FOR A HUG.

I am so glad the bouquet meant something to her because it meant something to me too.

It was an absolutely surreal experience. I regret not remembering what her amazing dress felt like.

I regret not remembering every single ounce of that moment and feeling. You just can't when something like this happens. I am so grateful for that moment.

Another photo snagged by Rachael

Holding up her star cookie with her name on it explaining that 'Spectrum' would be next'

EDIT: (Jan. 28)

IT IS HERE!!

I went snooping and found this on youtube! YES! Thank you so much!

This is the shot of the basket on the drum stand!

It was the least I could do. I just..I cannot believe it.

I stayed on that chair the rest of that concert. I needed to. It was my Flo platform.

By the time this had happened, Brooke and my mom were able to join me by the stage. 

After the show had wrapped up, [did it really HAVE to?], I called out to Tom, the wonderful harpist who makes tears possible on 'Spectrum', and asked for his setlist. See how it's ripped? I saw that man's struggle. Stage tape is a bitch.

I love it even more that it's ripped. This makes it look more real, more 'Rock 'N Roll', eh?

I spent the rest of the night getting into excitement/cry fits, resisting changing anything about my appearance, and looking at pictures from the evening try to confirm if it did all happen.

I am dying to get my hands on a video/clip/picture of this whole thing.

Unfortunately, the people I was with didn't capture this. If you did, send it my way!

A picture of that hug, or her holding that bouquet would make my life!

All in all, this was an AMAZING night. I probably have stressed that word in this post, but it's the pure truth.

tessaabee@gmail.com

TWEETS THAT MADE MY NIGHT:

LinBrehmer Lin Brehmer 

Florence just showed the crowd her cookies.

20 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply

LinBrehmer Lin Brehmer 

Actual cookies

20 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply

LunamothTom Tom Moth 

@ 

@fatm_lover Too late! pic.twitter.com/hfIW63FS

4 Dec Unfavorite Undo Retweet Reply

LunamothTom Tom Moth 

@ 

@fatm_lover here it is pic.twitter.com/kIs3UvxL

19 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Thank you to everyone who made it an amazing night!

Read WXRT's review HERE