November 15, 2012

The 25% Mindset // November

This is something I've been wanting to put into written word for some time now. It's something that I've been able to verbally convey to some extent, but haven't yet conquered finding the time to type it out , until now. It's kind of a heavy topic, but maybe not, it definitely doesn't have to be, it just depends on your viewpoint. For me, though, it kind of is. It's the best way for me to have some kind of definitive bright spot, something to look forward to, something to remember. You see, if you ever met me in person, you'd think I was this energetic, outgoing, spunky, funky chick that's got enough spare energy to bottle up and sell, and that's very true, to some extent. However, if you really know me well, you would know I spend a lot of time tied up in the sad sack. There's no real reason or real way to pinpoint the reason for this. Mind you, that makes it sound extremely fluffy and I'd almost rather have you think that, and even more so, I wish it were "fluffy". Life isn't always wonderful, but it's about stumbling into those moments or experiences that make you feel it is to the fullest degree. Basically, right now, being 24 years old almost feels like a burden along with having this marvelous freedom that's only going to be here a short time longer. It's a mixed pot of outings, friends, work, being unsure about work, being unsure about money, being stressed about money, wanting freedom whilst fearing it, uncertainty with the future, hating the future, hating the present...all that delicious stuff that the ones walking around in their 20's get to experience. Most of the time, that's not even a thought exclusive to the younger set. It's that feeling that when you're happy, you feel as if you'll be happy forever, but when the sad hits, it seems like the only feeling you'll ever possess. It's a grouping of feelings that I am all too familiar with, but there's also beautiful things to be experienced in this life that seems sort of mundane and unsure of it's purpose, and that, my friends, counts for something.

Breaking it down this way sometimes seems a bit negative, as I stated before, but it's necessary for me to write about because it's how I've been feeling for so long, whether it's the "right" or "wrong" way to go about life, it's just how I choose to see it. The 25% carries a big significance for me. It's sort of the thing that keeps me here; the thing that keeps me going, the thing that I look forward to, the thing that makes me laugh out loud when I'm alone on a Thursday afternoon. The 25% is necessary because it is made up of the small things. And the smallest things tend to have some of the greatest outcomes and make some of the biggest differences. What makes up this percentage? And how can the other 75% seem so melancholy? It's not just that. It's not that I'm sad sacking 75% of my life, it's just that some of the things I find myself doing, that aren't necessarily enjoyable, or they are the things that I'm just doing until I get to what I'm really here for. I am a happy person, at times. I feel like my head is not quite wired like the rest of 'em and it's hard sometimes, too hard. What happens often when I'm swimming in the depths, is that I find the smallest things do generally pull me out of such a rut, which is why this perspective works for me real well.

The 25% is what we're dreaming about experiencing during the 75% we're living.

I find myself living in complacency more often then not, if I'm lucky to have even that in my grasp, and not to mention, I'm the most anxious person alive. That's not necessarily the worst state to live in, but sometimes, it all seems to drag on and throw me on my head every now and then. There are large amounts of that 75% that make me cling so hard to that smaller number that makes up my whole.To explain it differently, it's one of those times when you're driving and you're feeling low, real low, and you don't know what the hell you're doing here anymore, and then you see it- that sunset. That amazing sun that's going down in all the right ways; it makes the clouds look absolutely beautiful, the sky is splashed in faded colour, and that sun gives you hope that tomorrow is a better day and a brighter time. And then it hits you, THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE. To see that, to think a rational thought, to feel at ease, to see something that you had no control over, and have it move you to pieces. THOSE are the things that make me love being alive and make me want to stay alive. It's those things you see, feel, or experience that are so beautiful, so magnetic, so memorable, that it makes you feel like you're going to cave. The 25% gives you that reassurance that good things, whether they be big or small, do linger just around the corner, you just have to keep living to experience them. Want other glorious examples? Sure you do;

It's the things like, when you want to hear one of your jams whilst driving, and all of a sudden it comes on the radio or your shuffle takes care of it. GLORIOUS! The 25% is the loud laughs you share with your friends on a Thursday night at their place, when you're so caught up in the moment you don't care whether or not you're heard in the apartment next door, it's receiving that set list from the show of the musician that helped shape your life at one of your favorite venues, it's that exceptionally random conversation you have with a stranger that makes some sort of impact on you, it's letting the music move your emotions; letting it take you from happy to sad or the other way around, it's that both hands on your face when your being kissed kind of feeling, it's seeing the architecture that's so astounding, you take a minute to look at it.  The 25% is vital, and it's happening all the time, you just have to look for it, scoop it up, and make it part of your whole. Sometimes it's easy to pass it up, I mean, really easy to pass up and other times, you have to cling to it, especially in times when you're not sure what you're really here for. The times where it's not apparent can seem terrifying, but then you just have to go digging.

in visual form;

See the way his hand falls in this picture? I remember it upon my face.
I       remember       that       feeling.
I remember thinking that this was such a darling shot and that I'm so
glad I have his wonderful affections caught on camera. THAT is the 25%

The 25% is getting something like this in your camera roll, that marvelous sunset.
And more rarely than not, your favourite musician will absolutely change your life,
in the middle of a packed venue, my favourite venue, and make you feel like your
artistic side should not be taken lightly. THANK YOU, FLORENCE WELCH
for making the 25% feel like 100%.

Cookies I made for my queen, Florence Leontine Mary Welch
and the rest of the band, Florence + The Machine. Her receiving these?

The 25% are these setlists, acquired from amazing shows from amazing places.
1. Florence + The Machine (H.o.B April 2010) 2. Natalie Merchant (Chicago Theatre 2010) 3. Chairlift (Lollapalooza 2012)
Getting the set list makes it that much more official and just gives you something awesome to put on your wall.

the 25% is taking walks on a summer day like this with one of your closest friends.

The 25% is dancing in Grant Park at your first Lollapalooza. HELL YES!

Of course, the 25% is your bed. YOUR bed.

The 25% is re-living those childhood memories, ice cream trucking at age 24. CLASS.

 The 25% is getting to see Concorde in person. I would have LOVED to have flown in this aircraft
and I'm stoked I got to see it and admire the hell out of it. IT'S BEAUTIFUL!

The 25% resides in your house on Christmas morning.
The 25% is the feeling you have rushing through your body  on
one of your favourite coasters with awesome people by your side.
What an amazing day this was. I love what all of us are doing in this picture.
All, in all, the things above mean endless amounts, looking at these pictures literally gives me the same feeling I experienced as it was captured, but they aren't the only things that mean a lot. There are a million examples and viewpoints of this subject, and I'd love to hear about them from you. These experiences are something to cherish. 

What's in your basket of 25%?

1 comment:

Brookie Wooks said...

<3 I will reply more from an actual (not phone) keyboard, soon.