January 4, 2010

What 2010 is bringing me.

Oh. my. goodness.
Where do I start? I feel like it has been forever since I have touched this blog.
I've missed it.
I feel like there are a million different directions I could go with this entry.
I'll just write it stream of conscious.
Good luck followers...the six I have... ha ha

Does anyone else feel that the full moon tinkers with EVERYTHING?!
I never did until now. Needless to say, everything is fabulous now;
but there were a few mishaps along the flow of our New Years Eve Plans.

Before I delve into what I did this past week/weekend
I feel like I should do a little bit of writing about "ringing in the new year"
and what it all means to me.
For the past four years (or more)
I have spent so much time and energy bringing myself down.
"I'm fat", "I'm ugly", "I'm stupid", "I'm worthless".
You can constantly hear me mutter these things on a daily basis.
No more. I am so sick of it.
I was never looking for you to rush to say "NO YOU'RE NOT!"
I was never looking for your denial or reassurance. I just stated it as fact.
2009 brought many great changes in my life.
I feel like I have found my counterpart, I found a job I enjoy going to, & I have finished school.
I still have a long way to go with making myself a better/more knowledgeable person.
For now, I just feel like I cannot waste my time putting down the person I've grown to be.
I cannot let other peoples encouraging and warm words go to waste.
I will not allow my boyfriends feelings to crumble each time I deny his compliments.
I will believe people when they say I'm good/pretty/smart/beautiful.
I will accept my body and know that I do a lot to keep it in the best shape that I can.
I might not know everything, but that's what life and learning is all about.
I cannot be afraid to ask questions or admit that I don't know something.
I am calling 2010 the year of confidence.
There are always ups and downs. Insecurities will always linger.
But I am who I am and I have to stop bringing that person down.
Old habits are hard to break, but I feel that I'm worth it.

So let's dive into those plans of ours!

I headed over to Eric's on Wednesday night so we could be ready to go on Thursday morning.
We were headed up to Milwaukee to see Spoon, one of our favourite bands.
We got on the road at a good time, checked into our awesome hotel,
& we ate at an AMAZING restaurant for our New Years Dinner called Roots.
(I am still craving this amazing salad they have
--& really I'm really not the "I'll just have a salad" kind of girl.)
We ended up heading over to the venue around 8:30
Spoon came on around 10:50pm-ish.
They played every song I wanted them to play & I felt so great at this show.
So great I cannot explain it. My body was feelin the music (gin & tonic will do it!)
& I loved seeing the excitement on Eric's face as they belted our favourite songs.

This is the problem. Every show Eric & I see together is amazing.
(which isn't really a problem)
But how do you rank them?
Modest Mouse, Phoenix, Chairlift, Metric, Spoon--ahh! All fantastic bands.
Anywho...all I have to say;
You screwed up our New Years Eve together.
Or should I say; the full moon screwed our plans.

On the bright side, New Years Day brought all sorts of amazing things.
Eric surprised me with staying another night in a hotel (The Hotel Monaco) in Chicago.
He also surprised me with a fantastic dinner at one of my favourite restaurants in the city;
Avec. It's French cuisine & everything on the menu melts in your mouth.
A divine dinner followed by popping some Veuve Clicquot & Dom Perignon.
This was the best way to spend the first day of 2010.
I couldn't be more lucky.

Normal life resumed Saturday evening when we got to Eric's house.
I made gnocchi and a nice salad and we gulped down some wine
& enjoyed our low key evening together.
While I love our nights out & sleeping in high end hotels, our nights in are the best.
The nights were I cook and he cleans up :) What a team.

Now I'm back home and work (and skating!) starts again this week.
I'm excited to get back to life as it should be.
But I had the most wonderful holiday season! I spent it with people I truly love.
People I am so blessed to have in my life.
I must admit, I feel weird when I used the word "blessed"
since I am not at ALL into the religious thing.
But I feel extremely lucky. I have GREAT people in my life.
I wouldn't trade any of them.
Thank you so much to all of you who made the holidays extremely awesome.
Thanks for dealing with my shitty confidence through the 2000's.
2010 is here and there's no more bullshit.
I am who I am and I'm loving it.

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